However, I feel more and more overwhelmed. You know that saying when it rain it pours? Well, it has started to pour! Monday I needed to do something about it. Something that didn't include a big bag of Cheetos and the fast food drive thru. I decided I needed to talk it out.
Because of the setting and nature of my workplace. The hospital officers an in house counselor for employees as well as number of free therapy sessions with some selected providers. I understand their value but I've always been one of those people who"didn't need it".
Monday, I reached out and ended up talking to her for an hour. I was a bit apprehensive because who enjoys being vulnerable? Certainly not me!
I went in thinking I'd try to hash out my feelings about the intense and emotional last few work days and nothing more. I ended up with a big case of verbal diarrhea and hearing myself admit out loud to food binges and mom issues.
My word! The weight I felt got lifted off
Off my chest allowed to feel that I wasn't underwater anymore. To actually voice what I have been trying to to try to stop hurting myself with food allowed me to be proud of myself. Because I am proud of myself but I'm not always kind to myself.
Every day we try to be kind to others but yet we end up being our own harshest critics. We most likely are not as unkind to others as we can be to ourselves! That is just not right! I am a newbie to talk therapy and always get it would make me weak to admit I needed help. It didn't matter how obvious it was to others. In my deluded brain I can fix it all. But it turns out I can't. I am a key part of it but it's ok to reach out and get help. Whatever kind of help it is you need to compliment what you are doing for yourself already.
All that heavy but now a tad less so stuff aside, here's my food for the last two days:
Breakfast: chicken Apple sausages, lettuce, strawberries and grapes
Lunch: chicken, avocado and raw veggies
Dinner: chicken and a big salad
Breakfast: one egg omelet with power greens, chicken sausie, half a boiled potato and coffee!
Lunch: ( I was truly on the go lol pack the second half of breakfast in a Baggie and ate while driving!) egg with greens, half a Prato and a chicken sausie.
Dinner: zucchini noodles ( from my garden!!! Mixed with a little ground beef with a fried egg on top ( from my friends chickens!!) and sweet potato.
I hope y'all are having a good week. Until next time, Stay strong!!