It has not been pretty but its looking up!

Hi y'all! I am finally back on track with my eating 100% . I am having to go back to being super strict with my portions because it seems it is the only way I can continue down the right path. It seems that any time I am more lenient, I start pushing my limit a little more. So one tiny slip may eventually suffer from a snowball effect...and I don't even want to risk starting to even form that snowball. So I am mentally and emotionally ready to get back on the horse saddle so to speak.

In regards to my medication, all I can say is....IT HAS NOT BEEN PRETTY!! I am still working my way up to the full dose of metformin my doctor wants me on, but its been hard. Although I am taking the extended release version that is supposed to reduce the GI issues, my tummy has been suffering terribly. The first couple of days I had some terrible heartburn followed by some other not so pleasant symptoms...I'll spare you the tmi!. All of that that has gotten better with the addition of a pro-biotic and my body getting used to it. I know that if I didn't think this pill would help me, I probably would not make myself endure all this trouble. So I will continue pushing because I know it will be good for me as long as my body gets with the program and can tolerate my dose.

Otherwise, seems like everything else is stable. I am more in control of my eating and reestablishing my routine! My furbaby is still not fixed but slowly working towards getting there, hopefully a few more weeks until she is able to bear her whole weight on her repaired knee. Hope y'all have a great weekend! Until next time!

The Much Dreaded Visit

Hi everyone! Hope things are going good for y'all. I decided to write about the much dreaded visit I finally made this week. I went to the GYN for a followup. I know this is not pleasant for anyone, but I had kept avoiding it for a multitude of reasons.

I am trained and working in the healthcare field, therefore I knew that part of the reason why I had been avoiding/delaying this visit is because I am aware of my current medical issues and I was not ready to hear someone tell me what I needed to do about them. I also know that I will need surgery to either have a miomectomy or hysterectomy in the near future.

I know traditional medicine and its benefits can become a sort of controversial topic in the blogging world.. I keep reading on many blogs, about people not using or fighting the use of drugs for x,y and z. I respect everyone's view, but in my case, I could tell that although most of my issues will definitively get better with continued weight loss, but may need some extra help.

All my life, I have been able to stick to and get through a lot in order to accomplish something. However, never when it came to my health and weight. I guess I did commit to eating a diet full of excess and crap for many many years but that is not something to be proud of lol...bless my heart!

So at this point, although I am proud of the strides and progress I have made, I know that my hormonal/PCOS  issues are only one more obstacle along my journey. I have know for years that I suffer from insulin resistance, but chose not to do anything about it. I took the metformin pills for 2 days and haven't touched them again in 5 years. It wasn't the smartest choice back then and I knew I need to start being better to my body in all areas including my medical needs. I have a very severe case of it and although diet and exercise are a must and have helped tremendously, I have finally admitted that I need to be on the medication as well.

I am 36 years old but constantly joke about being "forever 27". It makes me feel real good when I still get carded at the casino or people think I am way younger than my real age. Heck, we all have our different areas that boost our self esteem. Therefore, Being one of THOSE people who take daily medication makes "forever 27" not as seem as likely lol

 It is more a mental issue because who cares? If I was a diabetic, would I not take insulin because it makes me feel "old"? or if I had thyroid issues would I do the same? No, it would be stupid of me to do that to myself. I decided that just because I made a chose to not take drugs for 5 years does not mean I don't need them. It just means that I have been kidding myself all this time. My professional brain does this, I have just been using my "regular" brain to think about this matter for way too long.

So I am now taking metformin and spironolactone for my PCOS and fibroid collection. .I was able to discuss not wanting any estrogen therapy due to my family history of breast cancer.Surgery is still on the horizon but it is not urgent. I loved loved  my doctor and I was able to discuss open and honestly with her what I have done for my weight so far, my worries and questions and that I really would rather be able to lose as much weight as possible before going under the knife to reduce some of the risks.

I am not sure how the drugs will affect me or if they will play any role on my current weight loss journey but I am excited to find out. Some people have found it easier to lose weight while on metformin while other have not. I will let you know how it goes. I am also hoping the spironolactone allows my thinning hair to stop and  my chin breakouts to at least improve. I am sure I will be writing about that in the upcoming weeks.

After psyching myself out about the visit for a couple of days, It wasn't as terrible as I thought. I encourage any of you who are reading and KNOW that something is up that you need medical help for, to do what is best for you and stop avoiding. Yes, there are some awful healthcare professionals who lack bedside manner and empathy out there and I know there's not enough GOOD HELPFUL UNDERSTANDING physicians around but they do exist. If you know the problem is much bigger than what you can do on your own, don't hesitate to do what is necessary..YOU  AND YOUR WELL BEING ARE SO WORTH IT!

How does it apply here?

Every now and then, my coworkers and I will have some semi deep thoughtful conversations. There is a wealth of knowledge and life experience among us due to the fact that we have so many different backgrounds and life stories. Someone posed the question her therapist had asked at the end of their session, She wanted to know what we thought. So she asked us " Would you rather be right or happy?".

My initial reaction to this question was HAPPY OF COURSE!! However, the more I think about it, the more I realize that the answer is not as easy. To be honest, I REALLY LOVE being right lol! It is so not a black and white situation. Depending on what context you analyze this question, the answer may be even harder to come up with. I mean lets face it who doesn't like to be right??Seriously, I am sure most if not all of us have had an acute case of knowitallitis at some point in our lives.

 I try to think about it in regards to our fitness and weight loss journeys. Sometimes, I have felt that we get so lost in the wanting our own approach or views to be the right ones that we can end up being unhappy and still not right. If  we thought that eating Brussels sprouts for the rest of lives would make us be healthy and fit forever...how happy would you really be? When it comes to eating right and changing our lifestyles, it seems that the key is finding the balance between what is right for us but that would also allow us a happy existence.

Think of how many times we have "known for sure" that x,y or z approach was just what we needed. I know that in my short time of trying to better my health, I have felt that way a few times.Then after a while, I have found that it is not sustainable in the long run, that it didn't really give me the results that I wanted and/or that not eating x or eating just x,y makes me terribly unhappy. As always , seems that I go back to being flexible and being able to learn as you go. It is a learning curve  that may look different for each one of us. Until next time, Keep pushing!

Trying to get back into things

So Gracie is out of the woods yay! Although not fully recovered she is so much better than she was three weeks ago. It has been draining and quite stressful and I finally feel like there's going to be an ending to this. I saw the vet today and things are looking well. Our next follow up is in 3 weeks so that has got to be better than going back every single week.


Yesterday, I decided I needed some mental health and best way to get it was by cleaning and organizing my house. It has been chaotic since Gracie's surgery and I have noticed that the more clutter and chaos there is, the less zen I am able to be. Cleaning helps me relieve stress and decompress, and it has the great effect of leaving me with a spotless and organized house. Don't you just love the feeling of a clean organized house and knowing that for that moment there is not one dirty thing in the house? BEST. FEELING.EVER!!

I am slowly getting back to my eating and prepping. Although not fully back 100%, I have started prepping and leaving the junk out. I stepped on the scale again and found no loss and no gain yet again. That has got to change this new week. Although I am happy to not have gained, I can't really "celebrate it since I know that I should be doing better.

I have realized that when I started this blog, I was thinking of focusing on my fitness and weight loss journey but however my journey  to a better me has so many more categories than just those two. I realize that sometimes I feel like writing but stop myself because the post would have nothing to do with weigh loss.
If it is part of my day, of me and my journey, I shouldn't hesitate to write about it. This is my space after all, surely the three of ya that read here wouldn't mind too much? right? ;) So if you start seeing more of different things, it is just me being able to integrate all areas of my journey and myself as I work on becoming a better version of me. Until next time!