Monday, January 5, 2015
Apparently, I don't eat.
Today was a very interesting day for me. Food wise, everything was on point. I hit my new step goal by walking up the deck to my car instead of taking the elevator. I was so chilled even with all my layers but I wanted to get the extra steps in. Five floors make a big difference! I have also taken to walking during half my lunch. I am lucky that our campus spans the length of three streets so you can get a pretty great walk indoors. I can get a little over mile in just by doing a full on lap from one end of the campus to the other, rain or shine.
The interesting part of my day came shortly after lunch. During my lunch break, I was sitting at the communal lounge eating my salad. As people chatted and ate, I noticed one of my coworkers looking over at me and my food enough for me to notice. I didn't think anything about it until I saw her a little while later when I was in the middle of my walk. She approached me and voiced her concern about me "not eating". I stopped walking and gave her a funny look. I wanted to make sure it was not a joke lol because my first reaction was to laugh out loud. I asked if she had not seen me eat my tuna and salad earlier. She said that "it didn't count.
Apparently, I don't eat but MFP would beg to differ. I eat 1350 calories a day, That is enough to give me nutrition and allow me to lose weight.I don't walk around starving. Other than when it comes to prepping, planning and actually eating, I try not to focus on food so much. So being told that I don't eat makes me want to literally roll on the floor laughing
I know she was coming from a good place in her heart when voicing her concerns about me. She wanted to make sure I am eating and not being too strict. I am considering starting an official count on how many times someone tells me I am being too strict with my food during 2015 ( grand total is 2 so far). How is it that seeing someone eat real healthy food concern you, but seeing someone stuffing their mouth with processed crap be ok? Remember, my coworkers know me from before, so they have been used to me eating "normal" aka lots of crap and processed foods. No one ever voiced their concern about my gaining weight so fast or eating too much then. Why would we be concerned now that I am losing weight and feeling better than I ever have? Does it make people uncomfortable that I am eating in a way that is different from how they are eating? I can't say I know what it is. However, it hit me that people seem more concerned about me eating a salad now, in a way that makes me think THEY would feel better if I were eating a whopper meal instead.
Although I owe no one an explanation, I tried to explain to her that I have to be this way because I am addicted to food. That being addicted to food is very different than eating too much one day because you were celebrating or it tasted good. I tried to explain how it is not only about what and how much I eat but also about how I react and deal with food on an emotional level. That it is a process, but one that I am extremely proud and excited to be on. I am not sure, if my explanation made sense to her or if it will keep her from repeating that I do not eat bit. What I do know is that saying out loud, in real life, makes me feel lighter. It makes me feel ever more committed. It makes me feel like I;ve got this and I will see it through.
I am off tomorrow and looking forward to some Zumba. Hope your week got off to a great start. Until next time!