Not doing so good

It's been a few days since my last post. It was right when I was coming down with the crud. Turned out it was actually strep boo! A day after I had another ruptured ovary cyst that was painful as heck. With the pain and soreness there, it was then followed by a couple more "womanly issues". To say the least, it's been a sucky week for me.

I have weighed twice this week and I've seen the scale go up and down 5 pds at a time. Not sure what the heck it will say for tomorrow's weigh in. At this point, I'm not worried about it. I'm finally starting to feel like myself even though most of my symptoms are still with me and  my energy is bottomed out.

Even through all I've been dealing with, I have not faltered from my journey and have continued to stick to my plan. My food has been on point and I have managed to get my steps in...slowly but surely. I have moved down one more notch on my belt so that's a yay . However my yay was short lived with the mega bloating and distension I'm dealing with currently. Hopefully it will get better soon. Sorry about the all over the place post...until next time!

Cruddy

Well, after three weeks of trying to kick its rear, I finally fell prey to the crud going around these places. I started feeling yucky again on Saturday but pushed through the work day. That night I crashed early and woke up with a headache on Sunday. All day Sinday I dealt with a low grade fever, runny nose and  aches all over. The fever went away but I still have some lingering headache and congestion. I am so glad tomorrow is my Saturday!

All the weather changes sure don't help my allergies neither. Crazy weather has us going from 20s to 70s to 50s to 30s. But, I feeL grateful that I am not up in the Northeast...if anyone is up there, stay warm and safe with all the bad weather coming your way.

We have a double edition of the LUNCHBOXES OF THE DAY :

This was Sunday.Power green mix salad, grilled chicken, avocado. Raw veggies to much on. It was delish and filling!

Here's what I got today:

                       

I have a power green omelet made with 2 eggs. Some cucumber along with 32g of cream cheese and 2oz of sliced turkey. Radishes to munch on.

The increase of protein and fat has made a difference in my 5 pm tummy growlies. I will wrap it up here and curl up with some hot tea tonight. Hope yall had a good start to your week. Until next time!

      

End of January = End of Resolutions?

    

    

I have noticed a trend going around for the past week or so. Some of the very enthusiastic new year resolutioners seem to be starting to drop off and some have done so already. I am not only talkin about weight or health related resolutions. I have seen it in those who had resolutions in areas such as saving money, starting a new hobby and the such.

 Why is it that we can start something with so much enthusiams and effort but fail and maintining that same drive after a while? Do we burn out or do we give up? If the resolutions will be beneficial ( to our health, to our wallets, to our jobs,etc) why do we not care more?

 Because I can identify as a former new year resolutioner, I find myself trying to find a pattern as to why so many us have done this in the past and/or in the present. What I have noticed is the most common thing we tend to do is set unrealistic expectations. By setting those, we are more often than not succeed at failing. I will lose 30 pounds in a month, I will save 5 million dollars every week, I will run 200 miles every other day....not going to happen.

 I have a coworker who decided to start a diet for the New Year. She wanted to lose 40 pounds. Her goal was to lose the first 20 pounds in a month or less. Lets call her Annie. I am not sure what kind of diet Annie was doing and that is not even important. For the first couple of weeks of the Month, Annie seemed to be sticking to it. Talking up how good she was eating and how much she was working out. 

A week or so in, she would start adding some leftover pizza from home, some dry microwable mixed meal or something from the cafe to her prepacked lunch. A little sweet something after the meall...just a little. Because she had made such a big deal of announcing her diet, she must have felt pressured to constantly add, as she ate, that she was going to the gym and working extra hard after work. That stopped after a couple of days. Are we shocked that Annie is no longer mentioning her diet or sticking to anything? I am not.

 I have been Annie for 35 years. I am sure there's still some Annie traits in me. I just try very hard not to let them take over. I am far from a place where I know much about losing weight. We all do what we can with what we have. We all try to learn as we follow our journey. However, after several months working on myself I would say that you really cannot out exercise a bad diet and poor nutrition. 

I am not even talking calories here. I truly believe that working out is important,but you must also fuel your body with real, wholesome food and avoid the ingredients that do not help and can damage your body with inflammation and illness. For some, that may be sugar and grains. For others, it may be legumes and dairy. Heck, some probably avoid all of the above. Some people, succeed by taking everything in moderation. There is more than one way for sure.

 If anyone can tell me what good pizza, chili fries or bacon cheeseburgers can truly do to our body please let me know. Because, I can't imagine there are any. Watercooler talk yesterday revolved around some article that stated that McDonald's fries have 19 ingredients. Freaking 19??!!!??!  My vegetarian coworker was freaking out because one of them is 'natural beef flavor'. That is the problem (or at least one of many problems) with processed foods. Why do fries need that many ingredients? Yes, so that they are able to be kept and consumed without perishing. But do we really NEED all that crap? NO!

 If you are so inclined to have fries, make you some oven "fries". Only 3 ingredients: Potatoes, Coconut Oil ( or your choice of fat), and Your choice of Salt. Make it even better and substitute a sweet potato instead. There are ways, options...choices. Is it fast and convenient as the drive thru? No, but your health should be worth so much more than a fast and convenient meal.

 Love yourself, your family and your body enough to invest time and effort in YOU. I know we are living in a time when we need everything done yesterday. But let's remember that good things take time. There's a saying that always cracks me up that I have to share with y'all: 'You can't have a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant'. Have patience, take your time, invest in you and never never give up! Until next time!

Its Friday!

Even though I am working on weekends, I still get excited about Fridays. I think that the only way I could really get excited about Mondays though, would be if those were my days off! To day was a pretty good day even though I did not have a good scale day. Please check out The Sunny Coconut for the Friday Scale Accountability Club Update.

I mentioned yesterday, that I have noticed myself getting hungrier by the end of the day. Some days it is the loud growly noises that happen just the second a room decides to be silent. Embarassing to say the least lol However, it is not that way every day. I noticed that with the changes I tried on today's lunch. I didn't get growly or hangry by the end of the day. Yay me!

It has a dark dreary rainy day down here. The northern part of the State is expecting some light snow early tomorrow morning which causes much concern to all of us way in the Southern part lol I think that the South just was not made for snow and this is why we are so panicked yet oddly excited about it. As long as there's no ice on the roads tomorrow, its all good!

Here is my LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY:

I have some chicken ( yes, still from the batch that was gifted) and some mixed greens. Avocado and some almonds. That should have me pretty full regardless of how crazy it gets. Hope y'all enjoy your weekend! Until next time!

Thursday Tidbits

Today was pretty much the same as this week has been. There's too many nastiness floating around making everyone sick and keeping us extra busy. While I felt less tired today, I can't decide if I have less energy o if I'm just spending more of it. Regardless, not a bad week at al.

I find myself getting hungry by the time the day is ending or when I'm driving home. Not completely convince it's hunger as opposed to tiredness. To help out with that, I'm trying to kick up my protein, especially while my days continue to be hectic. Hopefully that will keep me more full and make it less likely that I'll veer off plan.

Here's my LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY:

                        

I have six mini baked meatballs made with extra lean ground and dry spices. A power green scramble made with one egg and some carrots for my snack. We will see if this does the trick!

I leave you with some funnies:

                     

                                

    

     

Still whew!

    

                                  

    Man! The theme this week seems to be too tired and too busy. My "weekend" ended up not being much of a weekend. Monday was filled with a doctor and car appointments sprinkled with several errands in between. I was running around all over town all day, exhausted by the time I got home but I got all needed done off my list. Although I was out and about, I was able to stick to my plan since I had prepackaged cheese, nuts and raw veggies to munch on during the day.

     Tuesday I ended up having an even busier day. I failed to plan properly as I overslept in the morning and didn't prepack. For the first time in months, I ate out. No big deal for most but a huge one from me. The people I was with chose Panera. I used to LOVE Panera. Bread on the side, bread bowl with soup and half a sandwich. Yep, that used to be my order there. 

      Now that I'm avoiding breads, that was not an option. However, I was able to succeed by ordering a salad with no dressing and using their lemon slices instead. It was hard to have my company eating all my old favorites but thinking about why I'm doing it made it better to not dwell in it. So my lesson was that I can navigate a menu without completely falling apart. However, I still plan to stay away from restaurants as much as possible. For the third night in a row , I came home, packed my lunch for today, washed up and crashed soon after.

 Here is my LUNCHBOX OF TODAY:

I had a couple of hard boiled eggs and some mixed power greens salad. Lemon juice for dressing. Then radishes and carrots for a snack.

I was excited that I had to buy a belt on Tuesday! Yes, a belt lol I don't think I've owned one in years. Who needs a belt when you can barely button your pants! Right? However, my pants have gotten loose enough that without one, my pants fall down the sides and we don't want me getting in trouble for indecent exposure hahaha! My waist is actually starting to come back even though my tummy can still hold them up the front. I hereby declare buying a belt a great non scale victory!

Here's my LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY:

     

                             

I have some more of that homemade rostisserie chicken. Some raw power greens and sautéed mushrooms. Carrots for a snack.

 Hope all is welol with yall! Until next time!

Whew!

Hey everyone! I missed posting yesterday since I was so whipped at the end of my day. My ankle fixed itself up which was very convenient considering I ended working two extra hours. It was just too busy! Because of my commitment to staying away from elevators, I lost count on how many times I went up this particular staircase. Isn't it beautiful?

                                         

Of course, I also walked all over the campus. My employer has a couple of health and wellness programs. One of those programs uses pedometers to track your movement and allows you to earn health cash to spend on gift cards and other fun stuff. The more you move, the more you earn. Talk about extra motivation!

 I was automatically enrolled after my biometric screening and have been wearing that pedometer since I got it. It's fun to compare how the provided pedometer count compares to my jawbone step data. So far, they are always about 50-100 steps off, which isn't too bad. My grand total walking distance  by the time I got home, according to my two devices,was 6.2 miles! I was whipped. I came home, had some dinner, washed the day away and slept  like a rock until this morning.

I did a switcheroo this week,so today is actually my Saturday! It was perfect timing! I have a ton of errands to run so it's bound to be a productive day. I am looking forward to relaxing and having some down time tomorrow. Hope yall had a great weekend!

    

Short but Sweet

                                      

   This one will be short and sweet. Good news is that I torched my step goal once again and stayed pretty active even though work was a bit nuts. Bad news is, I slipped on the steps going up to the deck and my ankle has been swollen since. I am icing it and have no doubt it will be better tomorrow.

    My food budget was spent wisely once again and I got a ton of homemade "crockpot rotisserie chicken" from a friend. So I'll be on chicken overload this week! HERE'S MY LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY:

                                

I have a salad plus some of that chicken. I am planning on eating 4oz of it. I also gave some raw veggies for a snack. Enjoy the rest of your weekend y'all! Until next time!

 

     

Friday Crazyness

Hey yall! Are you ready for your weekend? Although I'm working during weekends, I do look forward to them because they tend to be a little less busy than weekdays. Now you watch, now that I've said it, tomorrow is probably going to be all sorts of crazy haha

Today was a good day. Got lots of walking in since I was running all over the place and had reached my step goal even before my lunch break. I still chose to walk and get even more steps in during lunch. Food was good and I did not give into temptation even though there was food from this amazing Greek place near the hospital that someone had ordered for our department. Yay me!

I've still got the sniffles but my body seems to be succeeding in fighting off whatever bug is trying to get me. Considering I work at the germ factory, I can't complain. 

Hope you all enjoy your weekend. Here's my LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY:

Salad made with greens, shaved carrot and an ounce of feta cheese. One hard boiled egg and some raw veggies to snack on.  Until next time!

100 posts!

    

          .        

Today is a special one as I have reached 100 blog posts!! This is terribly exciting! When I started,  I was not sure if this would be something I'd be consistent with or would care to invest regular time on. I am so glad  it did stick as I have not only found it to be a great outlet but also have found a great community that seems to get me and what issues food and I have. Thank YOU for taking the time to read my ramblings, know I appreciate you reading and taking time to comment. Here's to the next 100!!

Today was a pretty good but busy day. It for sure felt like a Monday to me! I enjoyed a non scale victory today when I realized that, for the first time since ditching the elevator and opting for the stairs up the deck, I made it to the sixth floor with an elevated heart rate but not having to catch my breath. This is much improvement . Although I've never been close to dying once I make it up, I would not be able able to speak in full sentences if I tried. Today I probably could have ( at least short ones ;) ) that's a st p in the right direction!

Yesterday, I asked y'all's thoughts on Chia Seeds. The reason I asked was because a friend of mine had been talking about this superfood and all its alleged super powers. I couldn't figure out what those were called in spanish. After googling,It hit me, that we grew up with them! Back home they are called chan seeds. We only use them in lemonade that is colored red to make it fancy. Yes, I said fancy. No, not pink...bright Red! Don't ask me why this is lol anyway I was shocked at all the ways People consume them . My cousin back home refuses to believe poeple sprinkle them on salads or make pudding with it! I may have to make some fancy red lemonade this summer for the sake of nostalgia haha

Here's my LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY:

  

That's some bad lighting :( I have a tomato, onion and cilantro salad with lots of lemon juice. 3oz of chicken breast, one ounce of almonds and a side of radishes. The tomato salad smells so good! Until next time!

A much better Day

Thanks for your comments on yesterday's post, I am feeling much better after getting that off my chest, Well, my Sunday has come to an end. I can't complain though, the rest helped my body kill whatever bug it was trying to get rid of. I got a few things accomplished around the house and got my workout in. It is still cold out there and we have rain coming in tomorrow. Of course, as a result the flurries and the S word has been mentioned.

It don't take much, to shut most of the city down. Last January we had a big issue with ice which ended up with lots of people stranded for a couple of daysof work, kids stuck in school and  some spent hours and hours stranded on the interstate. Keep your fingers crossed it's not a repeat of that! Last time, the meteorologists were saying what they are now. Chance of flurries, no big deal. We shall see!

Here's my LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY:

Salad with raw greens, carrots, radishes,cucumber and cilantro. The usual lemon juice for dressing. Switching up with Tuna for my protein. I have some celery, radishes and tomatoes to snack on if needed.  Until next time, I leave you with a question: What are your thoughts on chia seeds? I am curious to know!

Caution: A Little Venting Ahead

      Hi all! Yesterday was a bit emotional for me and had me drained. This is why, I didn't write much. However,I have a bit of venting to do tonight.

     I have talked before of my somewhat rocky relationship with my mom. My dad and I were so close and so much alike that it never helped my relationship with her. She is great but we are such opposite personalities, that we have butted heads throughout my life (mostly about weight). No matter what all I have ever accomplished, I never seem to do things right enough for her standards. I try to be patient and take most things in stride, especially at this point of her life. Occasionally its hard. She is turning 70 at the end of the month so I decided to surprise her with a new computer. She has been talking about needing one for months. Hers is broken and shes been stuck using an old tablet and so far shes fallen behind on all her Facebook games haha

     I love surprising my loved ones. I am not big on material things because I have tried to simplify my life and my stuff. Regardless, When I can make someone happy with stuff they want/need then I try my best, I thought it would be a great idea to get my "accomplice" to give her the gift early once it went through customs. Electronics are extremely expensive back home so it was for sure going to be a big surprise. My train of thought was that it would surprise her, make her happy, fill a need, save her money and she could start enjoying it.

   Due to many factors, my surprise ended up causing more drama than happiness. The worst part is, that none of that drama involved me or the gift, but somehow my gesture and thought of wanting to make her happy, got lost in the middle of it all. When I talked to her, she spent an hour fussing about the "drama" and even forgot to acknowledge the gift. I didn't need recognition but a thanks would have felt great. I got my feelings hurt. BIG TIME>

     I am a really sensitive person and it took a lot to not break down or get upset while on the phone with her. When I hung up, my first thought was "I need to eat something". That is my knee jerk reaction to emotional distress, I needed to eat eat eat. it didn't matter where or what, I just needed to do it. After five minutes of trying to figure out what I would cram in my mouth, I came to my senses. I was not going to allow my emotions to have that power. I ate my half a grapefruit and went for a walk instead. It was a huge victory. However, it didn't fix my hurt. While I was walking, I tried to put myself in her shoes and in that situation going on at home. I decided to let it go and be the bigger person. Sometimes, you just have to let it go and accept the fact that some people are so in their heads, they cannot see anything around them. Once I was able to do that, my heart was better as well as my feelings.

     Hours later, talking to my friend about the whole ordeal, I told her that now I was left feeling angry at myself. It wasn't about the mom situation anymore. It was the fact that even though I didn't cave, my instinct to eat eat eat (aka binge binge binge) still comes whenever I get upset. I was beating myself up pretty bad about having the thought. I thought for sure I had gotten better at this. She  pointed out that that was a waste of energy when my focus should be on the fact that I have learned not to cave into that instinct instead. I try to do that, I really do. But I have to wonder will that instinct ever go away? I am proud of being stronger than the urge. I just want to make the urge not be an urge anymore. You know what I mean? Anyway, I am feeling better now and back to being strong.whew! that was heavy on my chest, somehow writing about it makes me feel lighter. Maybe I should go weigh again? ;)

     Moving on, I have enjoyed my Satuesday to no end even though my body seems to be trying to fight off some sort of bug. I may have been a bit too hectic lately with some many changes in routine. Even my little emotional moment has drained some energy from me. My body was craving some relaxing time. I got a few things done around the house, got my workout in, stayed on track with my food. I am now ready to  settle in with a book and a cup of tea for a while. Until next time!

Powerful words

It is my Friday and it sure feels like it. I am good tired and calling it an early night. I walked almost twice as much today because it was so crazy. So looking forward to my couple days off!  I will let these powerful words fill my post with good vibes tonight. Until next time!

   

                               

     
                                                                                      

   

Small Changes Big Results

     

      How many times have we heard this? I can say that I have heard and/or read that phrase plenty of times throughout my life. However, It was not until today that I really took a minute to really think and internalize the meaning of it. I have never really been a full out all or nothing person, I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. Actually, I am one whenever its convenient for me. That would be the more honest answer ha! 

     All these years of continued weight gain and uncontrolled food issues, I would always think that the only way to lose weight was to make changes so huge I knew I wouldn't stick to it. By that logic, I rationalized, why try when I know I will fail. I look back now and think: What a defeated and stupid way of thinking! Kind of in the same vein where we tend to forget to enjoy small victories over the big ones. Non scale victories or scale related ones. 

      If way back when, I had started making small changes, my current journey may have started at a different point and in some ways may or may not have been easier. I say this, not because I am stuck in the past ( what I did/didn't do is water under the bridge) but because one should learn from it and do better in the present.

      I may not be shedding 5-10 pounds a week at this point (or ever),but I have found that having tweaked my diet to allow for more veggies, fruits, nuts and protein and kicking out all sugar and most grains (maybe 90% as of now), is doing wonders for my energy, mood and overall wellbeing. I think it has helped clear my acne a whole lot as well. My skin is looking better than it has in a while. Because I feel better, I move more. I can't run but I will walk walk walk! 

       Today, I had to tweet this pic, because my old self would have NEVER done this:

                             

Rocking the parking deck steps up and down for fun! And then Walking up to the top floor, round and round the levels, to get my daily workout in during lunch. Can someone give me a virtual high five please? :)

      

     On rough days at work, I am still exhausted just like any normal person would be regardless of their size. However, I still go up the stairs to my car ( even if its 9 degress outside and I parked on the 6th floor) I continue to walk part of my lunch break, I am sticking to preparing and taking my lunch daily, I wake up early and try to meditate or have some quiet time to start my day right... I continue to work hard. If I do that for my professional life why wouldn't I do it for my personal benefit? 

     

      I also try to keep my attitude towards this journey as positive as possible. Some would think ( or message me ;)) that I am trying too hard or think I am doing things perfectly and will fall flat on my face). "They" would be wrong. I am far from perfect. I am still a newbie and fully aware of it. I am continuously learning, tweaking, assessing, adjusting and doing what I need to do for ME. Writing about my changes and my way of trying to create good habits, helps ME stay commited. Reminds ME of what I need to continue to do for myself. On those days I struggle ( yes, I do have those contrary to what you may think), it helps ME bring myself back to a better frame of mind. It helps tremendously and I enjoy it immensely. I have always said and continue to say, find what works for YOU even if no else one gets it.

       You know this long rambling would not be complete without my LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY:

         

  

I have a spinach and feta salad with lemon juice for dressing. 2oz of cooked chicken breast ( boiled with some salt is my fave way...yes, I know that is weird/yuck to many). 1oz of pineapple and a cup of grapefruit as a snack. Wohoo my "Friday" is almost here! 

Anything we want or need to change is not impossible unless we refuse to even give it a try. Make a small change whenever you can, life may surprise when you see the big results that those changes may bring later on.

Two Lunches and A Pintertest

Since I have an extra lunch that I didn't share the day I crashed before writing you get two lovely lunchbox pics tonight! Here is my LUNCHBOX OF TODAY:

   

                          

      

      There's spinach and half ounce of feta . Half an ounce of nuts, radishes and half an avocado. Btw, that avocado saver I got in my Christmas stocking is the best thing ever. My half avocado was fine when I ate it 18 hours after I ate the first half! Now moving on!

    

      Y'all know by now that I'm a huge fan of Pinterest. If I am not careful, it can be this black hole that sucks me in for hours at a time? However, occasionally it can come pretty handy when looking for idea about anything you could imagine. I'm partial to the food boards and it was a crucial moment when I got rid if my old recipe boards full of crap and have tried to transition into more plan healthy recipes.

      The other day, I came across this gem, I think originally posted here. It is collard green wraps. Using the collard leaves as the wrap, they filled it with veggies and used a bit of hummus to keep it all together. I know chickpeas can be controversial, but hummus is one of the occasional indulgences I allow myself, never more than a serving and not that often.

        So here's a visual of the process, sorry not the best pics/lighting:

                        

 Because I gave up all wraps and breads but miss the idea of "wrapping" things, this works extremely well. I am thinking some mashed avocado might be a good substitute for the hummus. I will have to try that for Monday's lunch. I will prep my little container of lemon juice in case I need to dip them in some tangyness.

This all brings us to the LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY:

        

     I have a couple of collard wraps made with some raw veggies and a teaspoon of hummus. Then announced sunflower and almonds mixed, a cheese stick and a cup of grapefruit. I'm excited about this lunch!

I hope your weekend is going great, tomorrow is my Thursday and I cannot wait for my Friday ;). Until next time'!

     

             

A day Late

     I was so so exhausted last night that when I decided to close my eyes for a few minutes before writing, I ended up sleeping until my alarm went off this morning! Not only was a super busy day but I was also anxious about my biometric. I think that I was so wound up about it in my brain, that after it was done it was like taking a deep breath after you have been holding it for a while. 

      I was surprised it was not as terrible as I thought it would be. Let's be clear: my numbers are not good at all, and I have a lot of work in order to decrease my risks and increase my quality of life. However, I was shocked that my total cholesterol was actually normal and that my glucose (my biggest fear) was normal as well. I was also excited about having lost another 2.2 pounds since last Friday. I want to think that my hard work so far has aided those numbers and that as I continue down this path, I will only continue to improve. I plan on getting my labs done again in 3 months to see how everything is.

      Here is my LUNCHBOX OF THE DAY: 

 I had a bigger than usual lunch today with 5oz of mushrooms sauteed in a tiny bit of coconut oil and mixed with some parsley and 3oz of roasted pork loin. I had my usual veggies to snack on during the day as well. I will be working late today and wanted to make sure I was not tempted to snack before I get home tonight. Hope everyone has a great weekend! As for me, This is Hump day and will be working over the weekend. Stay strong everyone!

Grocery Shopping... Then and Now

P    

     I am a huge fan of grocery shopping lol shocking huh? well, I love eating so it makes sense that I would enjoy the process of acquiring what all I am going to have available for me to consume. For a while, about two years ago, I was all into coupons. Having never heard of those until I moved here, I was super pumped at the thought of getting discounts on my foods.

    I was far from being an extreme couponer but I think I would on average save the same or a little more than I spent. I was so proud when I walked out of that store with a cart full of cookies, crackers, and all sorts of processed junk for only a few bucks. I would balk at the prices of meats, fruits and veggies and would choose to go down the prepackaged aisle instead. I got to a point where I refused to buy much of anything I did not have a coupon for. So of course, fresh food was the last of my shopping priorities.

     While I was never in a terrible place moneywise, I chose to put so little value on what I ate focusing more on quantity over quality. My old logic would say, Hey I can get a box of pasta for a buck and a jar sauce for about two more, why in the world would I pay $6 for lean beef and about the same for some fresh veggies to grill? It was not that I couldn't afford the latter, it was that I had retrained my brain to get the bargain. How it affected my health and weight, never came into my mind.

     Part of my journey has entailed trying to rewire my brain to think in terms not only of quality but also of health. To be ok with not getting the "best deal". I have a long way to go still, but I have made great progress. One of the main things has been avoiding the middle aislesand choosing to buy the periphery of the store instead. I remember several years ago someone had written about that. Back then, I had scoffed at it and thought the writer was a snobby butt. Fast forward to the present, it makes perfect sense.

     The periphery of the store would include vegetables,fruits,nuts dairy,beef, fish, pork, poultry,cheeese,yogurt,deli and bakery. According to that article, that was where you would find the healthy and real stuff. The middle aisles would have the cake mixes, hamburger helperish boxes,candy, cereals, grains, sodas, chips and all that processed crap I now do my best to avoid. Of course, there are some exceptions to this. In my store, the frozen veggies and fruits are actually in the middle and I consider those a good choice when I cannot get fresh. I am picky about my fruit, so another thing I like having on hand for emergencies is no sugar added fruit cups. Again, not as good as fresh but not the worse either.

     I would love to be able to afford  (mentally ;) and financially) to buy all organic, grass fed, non gmo and whatever other label everything but at this moment I can't. I do as much as I can feel comfortable with and that is fine for me. Most of my organic produce usually comes from Costco, since I tell myself I get a much better deal there. It may not be the case but I feel better telling myself that haha I respect what other do and feel strongly about in terms on what they choose to purchase and promote, but I recognize that we all have different ways of living and spending our money.

     As I took my groceries out this afternoon, I was again happy with my choices:

                                    

 
     I have enough for at least 2-3 weeks of dinners. The freezer cooking is really working great forus Those frozen veggies make prep time faster and the end product is just as tasty. I am once again, trying my spinach. I bought just a little box this time. I didn't have any issues last time, and I hope that my hives were in the end not related to it. Keep your fingers crossed for me, I love me some spinach!

     I forgot to mention that tomorrow I am doing my Employee Biometric Screening at 3 . I am excited and scared at the same time. I know it will be pretty bad on paper but find comfort in knowing that it was even worse before I started my journey. This is not an obligatory thing but I volunteered to get it done asap. This is monumental for me, it is facing another fear and conquering it. Like it was with the scale a few months ago,I have put it off "knowing" my numbers for so long that I feel like I WANT and NEED to know. I expect everything will be out of whack and I have tried to prepare myself mentally for that. I want to focus my attention not on how bad it is but on how I am going to get better so that I can continue to make good choices and take good care of me. I want there to be Alati for many many more years to come! I will have to let y'all know how it goes!

     Finally I leave you with my LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY:

                            

    
I made me a little veggie platter to snack on with a couple ounces each of cucumber, radishes and carrots. I have a little container of celery sticks and a small spinach salad with an ounce of feta and a hard boiled egg for protein. Can you tell I like to have different choices?   Until next time!

Not a bad Saturday...I mean Tuesday

   

     It is hard to think of Today as Saturday although technically for me it is. I may have to make Satuesday an official thing. So tomorrow will be my Sunday (I have no cute name for that....yet). I  guess it's good thing  that I was never a fan of Sunday Brunch...doubt any place would accomodate me on a Wednesday ha!

     I had a pretty simple yet productive day. I finally put Christmas away which is something I always hate. Around here, people believe that having Christmas up by New Year's is bad luck. However, back home you have to wait for the wise men to come on Jan 6th. Growing up, I didn't really care  since it wasn't my job to do. But now, since I am all for avoiding this task, I just tell everyone I have to wait for the men to stop by. I am sure some people wonder what that entails lol

     So, I had to get all the empty boxes from the shed and get everything back down and put in place. Here's a pic documenting some of it:

                  

     A couple hours and several boxes later , I was ready to move everything back to the shed. There it will stay until it's time to start all over again in a few months. Of course, once you do all that there is bunches of glittery crap and bits all over. Of course that end up in you needinb to clean lol. I swear sometimes (read most times) adulthood sure takes all the fun out of things and makes every task longer than it needed to be!

     I spent a couple of hours cleaning the house. It is sparkling clean but my back  was a tad achy after. With two fur babies in the house, it is hard to keep it neat and fur free. After I finished, I curled up with some coffee and a book to relax for a bit. Later on, I made a few more freezer meals for the work week (yay for planning and preparedness!!) and headed out for a walk. It sure has gotten chilly out, I love it!  I really want to give the couch to 5k a try again soon. I am hoping this time around I will make it past the second jog....bless my heart.

       I stayed pretty active for most of the day and my food was well within my calorie budget. Sadly, I didn't get to Zumba but I will tomorrow for sure. Until next time, I leave you with some food for thought:

                           

      

         

     

        

Apparently, I don't eat.

   

     Today was a very interesting day for me. Food wise, everything was on point. I hit my new step goal by walking up the deck to my car instead of taking the elevator. I was so chilled even with all my layers but I wanted to get the extra steps in. Five floors make a big difference! I have also taken to walking during half my lunch. I am lucky that our campus spans the length of three streets so you can get a pretty great walk indoors. I can get a little over mile in just by doing a full on lap from one end of the campus to the other, rain or shine.

     The interesting part of my day came shortly after lunch. During my lunch break, I was sitting at the communal lounge eating my salad. As people chatted and ate, I noticed one of my coworkers looking over at me and my food enough for me to notice. I didn't think anything about it until I saw her a little while later when I was in the middle of my walk. She approached me and voiced her concern about me "not eating". I stopped walking and gave her a funny look. I wanted to make sure it was not a joke lol because my first reaction was to laugh out loud. I asked if she had not seen me eat my tuna and salad earlier. She said that "it didn't count.

      Apparently, I don't eat but MFP would beg to differ. I eat 1350 calories a day, That is enough to give me nutrition and allow me to lose weight.I don't walk around starving. Other than when it comes to prepping, planning and actually eating, I try not to focus on food so much. So being told that I don't eat makes me want to literally roll on the floor laughing

      I know she was coming from a good place in her heart when voicing her concerns about me. She wanted to make sure I am eating and not being too strict. I am considering starting an official count on how many times someone tells me I am being too strict with my food during 2015 ( grand total is 2 so far). How is it that seeing someone eat real healthy food concern you, but seeing someone stuffing their mouth with processed crap be ok? Remember, my coworkers know me from before, so they have been used to me eating "normal" aka  lots of crap and processed foods. No one ever voiced their concern about my gaining weight so fast or eating too much then. Why would we be concerned now that I am losing weight and feeling better than I ever have? Does it make people uncomfortable that I am eating in a way that is different from how they are eating? I can't say I know what it is. However, it hit me that people seem more concerned about me eating a salad now, in a way that makes me think THEY would feel better if I were eating a whopper meal instead.

      Although I owe no one an explanation, I tried to explain to her that I have to be this way because I am addicted to food. That being addicted to food is very different than eating too much one day because you were celebrating or it tasted good. I tried to explain how it is not only about what and how much I eat but also about how I react and deal with food on an emotional level. That it is a process, but one that I am extremely proud and excited to be on. I am not sure, if my explanation made sense to her or if it will keep her from repeating that I do not eat bit. What I do know is that saying out loud, in real life, makes me feel lighter. It makes me feel ever more committed. It makes me feel like I;ve got this and I will see it through.

     I am off tomorrow and looking forward to some Zumba. Hope your week got off to a great start. Until next time!

A Change in routine, A Dumb Idea and Week Prep

     Well, we survived the holidays and it's seems everyone is pumped for their new year resolutions. We always joke that by February 1st parking at the Y won't be as hard because people start dropping off and losing their drive around then. I truly hope that for those that did make resolutions, your drive and commitment will see you through all year. For others like me, my goals will take me longer than 2015 so I just want continued  strength, motivation and drive for however long it takes.

     This week, my work schedule will change. I will be working weekends and my days off will be Tuesday and Wednesday. This will be a disruption in my usual routine but I am sure I will get used to it pretty quick. In order to stay on path, I am still doing my prep ahead meals and meal planning. I am also packing my lunches daily and avoiding eating out at all costs. It is my trigger. I am going to increase my daily step goal and keep working on removing grains and sugar off my diet. So far, after the cookie debacle, I've been good with no sugar, the grains are a bit harder for me but I'll get there. My brain tries to make it harder on myself, but I have pushed through ....with lots of pushing.

       I had some,one tell me the other day that I am trying to be too strict with myself and that it could work against me in the long run. Their logic is that by denying myself, I will fall flat on my face and be worse off.I know how my brain tries to trick me into wanting back to my old habits with food. It's still right there beneath the surface, I'm still sick with this food addiction, I am just trying to heal myself. I present today as a perfect example. We were doing chores and going through the junk mail. There were 3 flyers from Papa Johns, 2 forms Pizza Hut and one each from Mickey D's and Ruby Tuesday. 

     

     Apparently, Pizza Hut has something new they're doing to their pizzas. I said ooh maybe we should try once! I told myself well, it's only one day one meal, I've been trying so hard, I deserve a treat. I have only used 200 calories today...What a dumbass lol.  I rationalized with myself that I could fit in two slices of thin crust and be ok. We went online and started ordering. My roomie said, "are you sure you want to do it? I know how hard you been working on your food.". My knee jerk reaction was to get pissy because I was being questioned but a second later it hit me, what the heck was I thinking trying to rationalize pizza in my diet when I am working on living grain and sugar free!! My roomie recognizes how hard I try and she was trying to help me out. I thanked her for bringing me back from the dumbassery  zone and we went to eat a healthy lunch instead. 

     Yes, we went straight to the kitchen and I had fresh raw veggies, an ounce of cheese and some almonds. Do you see why I have to be so strict? If I loosen up my grip, I can easily go back or try to rationalize my bad ways!  If I had gone ahead an ordered that pizza, I know for sure I would be feeling overstuffed, guilty and instead of thinking about going for a walk I would be thinking about taking a nap. I'm past it now but this is why I know, I have so much to learn and see through. I am here, here is a good place to be. But here is not my final goal. I still have to get THERE. And THERE is more than a number on the scale, it is a way of life and thinking. A lifelong commitment to my body and my health.

After getting done with lunch, I got my LUNCHBOX OF THE NEXT DAY out of the way. I am not taking any chances on getting some dumb food ideas haha planning and thinking ahead will be one of saving graces.

Here's the before :

                                      

I bought me a Julienne peeler yesterday so I was looking forward to trying it out for tomorrow's lunch.

Here's the Final product:

                                       

There's a salad with julienned cucumbers and carrots, chopped radishes and fresh cilantro. The little green container has my lemon juice to use as dressing, for protein I have 1/2 c of tuna and half an ounce of almonds. I packed some extra radishes to snack on if I need them. I am sticking to the low carb protein drink for breakfast with half a grapefruit. Seems to do the job at keeping me full all morning. For dinner, I have my freezer meal of boneless pork chops with tons of veggies ready to be thrown in the oven in the evening. So how is this week looking for you?

     

       

      

I AM HERE

Find yours by taking the quiz here

     I have to begin this post by saying that Gwen mentioned this post she had read here in which the blogger had linked to a quiz that gave you your mantra for 2015. I am a sucker for quizzes and have been trying to understand more about meditation, mantras, and the such. I figured I would do it for fun, but after seeing my result, I decided I had to write about it.

     My mantra for 2015 is I AM HERE, My results stated,  " When you are here, you are planted firmly in your place in the world, representing a sense of stability and security". Boy, how appropriate. I started 2014 feeling completely out of control and lacking both stability and security in many things but particularly about my professional path. This dragged on throughout the year and I think that it was one of the many things that helped prompt the change in me. 

     I could not control so many things that I had to control that one thing I could but had never done. My food issues and my ever increasing weight. At the times when anxiety was the worse, I did not find my comfort in my usual food binges ( even if that is my initial instinct) but tried to power through without losing my path too much. 

     This year, I am far away from that sense of lack of security and stability it is incredible to me and I am so thankful for that. I am stable, happy and secure. I know I am in the place I want to be, under the best circumstances I could have asked for and doing what I love to do. I AM here and here, is a great spot to be in.

     Because of all the unknown in the past year, I have had a hard time enjoying the present because I spend too much time worrying about the future and the unknown. This mantra speaks to me on that level too. I am here therefore I needed to fully be here in commitment, in enjoyment...be present in my present if you will. I have to enjoy and commit to my present in order to have a better future. Worrying about the future without committing and working in the present is not going to change a darn thing.

     Finally, my results suggested that I use my Mantra this year to establish a strong and healthy relationship with your body and your bank account. Funny that is what I am planning on working for this year : committing to my health and body by taking away what hurts it and getting it back to a place of health and accomplishment. Also minimizing my buying and needs for more stuff, that only adds to clutter and takes from my bank account. 

     I am trying to simplify my way of spending both calorie and money wise. Think about it, if we don't need all the extra calories to live why would we need all this extra crap that is continually being offered to us? Less is more. I need to tattoo that on my forehead haha Until next time! Thanks for reading!