Temptation?

                   

       

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you read the word temptation? I would guess that if you have a sweet tooth you would probably picture some good chocolate or even some special dessert. If you lean more towards the savory side, maybe some chips and dip or even a burger might be it. For me, I am at a point where I can't decide if anything or everything is a temptation. Does that make sense? I assume not, I am trying to figure it out myself.

Let's back it up first. Temptation , as defined by a trusty dictionary, is  the desire or craving for something, especially something considered wrong. Therefore depending on what you consider "wrong" temptation can be many things. Because this is a lifestyle change and weight loss blog, obviously my biggest temptation would be food.

You could have two approaches to this. Either you are in the one camp where you are so strong in your path that you have taught yourself to not give food any power therefore you no longer consider food a temptation and shake your head at those of us who still struggle. Or you may be more like me, struggling but pushing through. The struggle is real.

I cannot tell you for sure why some days or some things make you struggle more or less. If I had to guess, I would say that it is a combination of many variables such as mood, energy, health,sleep, weather and whatever is going on in our mind. I think some days, especially for me, I am stronger or weaker than others. I wish I could say, I am strong every day and that I have it all figured out bItut I am not there yet. 

You know what though? It is ok. I sometimes feel like I have to keep reminding myself of that. I follow so many blogs and a large chunk of them have authors who have either reached their goal or are within pounds of achieving it. While they inspire me, sometimes I feel downright bad, I am comparing my beginning to their near end. I feel like I have said this before. But I am sure I am not the only one who has ever felt that way. I think I am extra vulnerable this week, what with having a gain resulting from my treatment and just feeling a bit overwhelmed with the monthly hormones.I need to get a grip soon!

But going back to temptation. Being raised Catholic back home, temptation and guilt where two concepts that were immensely hammered in my brain growing up. Will power would be tacked on especially during lent when we had to "give up" something we enjoyed and pray for the will power to not give in to temptation. 

That reminds me of a funny story, one year I decided that since I didn't care for beans that much anyway  (big part of our diet), I would just give them up for lent. I felt so darn clever for this, I wouldn't have to eat those stupid beans and I wouldn't have to give up something I liked. BEST IDEA EVER! Except when my mom asked what I was giving up and I told her. I was promptly told that you do not give up something that is not a temptation. Hey, I tried! I think I ended up giving up cheese puffs or candy instead.

I am not shy to say that losing weight and having the will power to stay within a healthy path and break my food issues is an ongoing learning process. I try to celebrate the small victories because they are all helping me get to where I want to be. Today, I had a small personal victory. Heres a little bit of back story.

Every year after Halloween, My friend and I would hit up the clearance candy sale for two main purposes. In her case, she always gets enough to make candy treat bags for the faculty and staff where she works as a little token to help them out during the hardest acting up time ( right past thanksgiving but not quite Christmas break period of time). The teachers and appreciate it so much. Some will always request chocolate when they are about to have a breakdown. It makes their day. I am not going to get on a white horse and talk about giving candy as treats. This is not a post about that. The bottomed out price, allows my friend to do this for them every year. It makes a difference of those teacher's day and consequently on the kids if the kids are feeling a tad sweeter ;)/ We make around 150 treat bags. The second purpose of our trip, was to stock up on cheap candy as a treat to ourselves. Because I OBVIOUSLY needed treats? lol Sometimes I have to shake my head at my own past logic lol.

Anyway, this year she couldn't make it and the prices have hit rock bottom. So I offered to go by myself. You have to understand that I was doing it for her but in some way I was doing it for myself. As I walked the aisles looking for the best deals I felt absolutely no desire to get any treats for myself. I was not tempted. Not at all. THAT IS HUGE!! I felt victorious. Other years, I would have gotten a bag and opened it in the car, to have a taste of one of my treats. I walked out with all she had requested for in  those bags and not one thing extra. It is all still in that bag and will remain there until they go into their treat bags.Candy :0    Alati:1 ! Until next time!