Wednesday, October 15, 2014

It's been a while...or so it feels

I posted on here for the last time on October 8th, its really only been a week but somehow it feels like it has been forever. I have been doing good regardless of all that has been going on around me. I have stuck to my calorie budget and have even been more consistent with exercise. For some reason, this past week I have felt like I didn't have much to say.
I am in a good place at this point, I feel like I am for the most part stable, although still aware that I am far from where I want to be. This is not only a physical journey but also an emotional one. I am stronger but not as strong as I can be. I am confident but not as much as I know I should be, I am working slowly to get there. The scale is going down the right direction, slowly but surely.
I have always been a natural loner. Being an only child, it was easy to become one even though I was involved in enough activities and had enough family around that I shouldn't have drifted that way naturally. My mother is and always be the life of any party and the center of attention everywhere she goes and loves it. Her daughter was expected to be the same. That was not the case. Me? I was the total opposite, I am way more laid back, like being out of the spotlight, relaxed and happy to have some alone time.
Even though I have enough aunts, uncles and cousins to build a small army, I have always been happy being an observer most of the time. This was a struggle growing up, since in my culture being very social and loud seems to be the norm and what is expected. I am not loud and I am a fairly social person, but if given a choice I'd rather blend than stand out. Growing up I thought this was a bad thing, as I have matured I have realized that it is ok to be a mix of both. I also learned that true friends are not the number of people on your Facebook ;) but the ones who are with you through thick and thin (haha!).
This past week rather than being inspired to write, what I was needing was to read, analyze, absorb and learn from others. Sometimes all you need is to hear what is going on with someone who has been or is in a place similar to yours. My loved ones are a great support system and will do anything to help my journey, but they come from a place of love rather than a place of personal experience. There is a difference, It is not a bad thing, it is just different.
I have talked before about how much following other bloggers has helped me. Sometimes a blog has helped distract me from grabbing something to eat,  given me motivation to keep going, inspired me to believe in myself, given me a good chuckle or just felt like someones sending ME the right message at the right time. I am always so thankful, for those bloggers because whether they are aware or not, they have sometimes made a huge difference in my day. It is MY choices that make a difference but the choices sometimes come easier after "clicking", being inspired or motivated by someone's post. so THANK YOU! Stay Strong, Until next time!!!


7 comments:

  1. I've found it is easier for me to be myself and "outside the norm" away from my family. Families always seem to have a mold they want you to fit in regardless of whether it fits or not. I used to feel like a failure when I didn't act the way my family thought I should act. I'm slowly getting to the point where if my family is disappointed in my, I recognize that it is THEIR feeling to deal with. I don't have to own that.

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    1. Connie, you are so right! After I moved away things got easier and I became more myself because I wasn't trying to be what someone expected me to be. Distance is hard sometimes when your whole family is in a different country but distance does make the heart fonder. Like you said, someone else's feeling or expectations should be theirs to deal with... We give ourselves enough to deal with on our own. Thanks for your comment!

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  2. Hi Alati,

    Just found your blog. :)

    We all need to find and CARVE our own paths...march to the beat of our own drums. Kudos to you for being your own person, and not the mold someone else wants you to fit into! :)

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    1. Gwen, I'm glad you found me! We definitely need to carve our own paths, I have found that doing so has made my life happier and more positivel thanks for reading! Come back again :)

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    2. You are now on my blogroll, so you are stuck with me! :)

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  3. I go on and off with the writing too; sometimes would just rather read others. That's what being part of the community is all about! Glad you are in a good place right now.
    -FogDogWeightLoss.Blogspot.com

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  4. Thanks FD! You always give plenty of food for thought!

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