On Sugar, Rewards and Advice to my 18 year old self

 I was having a conversation with someone who works in the school system about how children respond to positive recognition and rewards. I think this applies to us adults as well. I doubt there are many adults out there who do not enjoy being recognized for their efforts and earning rewards. As we chatted about what happens at her school ( I'm sure it happens at schools everywhere) we discussed the fact that candy and chocolate is what makes up for the bulk of rewards.  I have no children, but I was a child at one time, one that loved candy at that. I made the joke to my friend that poor Jamie Oliver tried to get sugar off school cafeterias on his food revolution show  but sadly it's teachers and others who are bringing it in as well. Why can't we learn to enjoy baby carrots or something as rewards? Even my fur babies do a dance to earn their carrots!
It is sad that just as it  has been for years, food is still being used as a reward. Why must food always be equal to a reward, celebration,comfort or even recognition?  Why is it that we have allowed food to be what everything else is centered around. It's your birthday? Let's go get dinner! You made the honor roll? Pizza night!  I am so sad, I need a donut or three. I am having a stressful week at work! I deserve some chocolate pie. It's football night! Let's make some cheesy fatty friend something's and eat way to many of them...the ways we use and abuse food is endless.
I am not anti food. Food is not the devil. Heck, it would have been hard to get to where I have been and I am without it. I always thought ( but failed to take action) that I was using food to fill up some void within me. It took me 30something years to accept that the void was my disappointment in myself over not being exactly who and what my mother wanted me to be. I laugh as I type that because I don't think I disappointed her in my career choice or even behavior ( probably exceeded her expectations in those areas) but in the characteristics and traits of my personality  as well as points of view that were so different from those of her and her side of the family. I was raised catholic so guilt is a very big deal or so you are trained to feel. Maybe she didn't even care but yet I always felt I wasnt "good enough" and that burdened me with guilt. I wish my 18 year old self had known that it was ok to be my own person, break away from a mold and that prioritizing myself was not a bad thing. I wish I would have told myself that guilt does not equal love and/or understanding. I also wished I had learned that there are so many more ways to punish or reward myself than with sugars and fats. A new pair of shoes, a good book, a nice cup of strong coffee, a trip,  a smile, a nice smelling candle, a calm peaceful moment or a kind word is sometimes all the reward and comfort we need.
As Halloween approaches and the stores are swamped with all that candy, I sure don't envy parents. I have established a candy ban in my household, my pants  my body and my wallet thank me for it. Some things or even traditions we follow are continued because they have become a part of our comfort zone, don't be afraid to redefine or do away with your comfort zone if that is what you need. Remember :